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Theological limericks

This post is updated with a few more limericks.

I'm not a Calvinist, of course, but if you're familiar with Calvinism, you may find the following limerick to be cute - about a brand of hyper-calvinism.
Franciscus Gomarus
Was a supralapsarius;
He actually gave Adam an excuse.
God had decreed, foreordained Adam’s deed,
God had precooked Adam’s goose.

And a couple of Catholic or high church flavored ones...
With a fear of divine retribution,
You are seeking the priest's absolution.
Show remorse and regret?
He'll forgive, not forget,
What you did to deserve execution.
It's hard to describe the frustration
We derive from our priest's cantillation.
His liturgical text
Makes us bored and so vexed,
When he stops, he receives an ovation.

For a bit of historical flavor...
In Christology's greatest debate,
The Antiochene school carries weight.
"Our Lord Christ," they opine,
"Was more flesh than divine."
Alexandrians say, "Now, just wait!"

And for those of Coptic leanings...
The blind mystic's monistic Synoptic,
A panoptic synoptic in Coptic,
Would thrill the eristic,
Theistic, ill mystic,
Were Copt cystic optics orthoptic.

I haven't read Barth, but here goes...
A difficult thinker is Barth.
His logic will tear you apart.
With his dialectic,
Life gets so hectic,
You hasten for refuge to Sartre.

And finally, one that is more general in nature.
There was a professor called Dodd,
Whose name was exceedingly odd;
He spelled, if you please,
His name with three “D’s,”
When one was sufficient for God.



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