Skip to main content

Theological limericks

This post is updated with a few more limericks.

I'm not a Calvinist, of course, but if you're familiar with Calvinism, you may find the following limerick to be cute - about a brand of hyper-calvinism.
Franciscus Gomarus
Was a supralapsarius;
He actually gave Adam an excuse.
God had decreed, foreordained Adam’s deed,
God had precooked Adam’s goose.

And a couple of Catholic or high church flavored ones...
With a fear of divine retribution,
You are seeking the priest's absolution.
Show remorse and regret?
He'll forgive, not forget,
What you did to deserve execution.
...
It's hard to describe the frustration
We derive from our priest's cantillation.
His liturgical text
Makes us bored and so vexed,
When he stops, he receives an ovation.

For a bit of historical flavor...
In Christology's greatest debate,
The Antiochene school carries weight.
"Our Lord Christ," they opine,
"Was more flesh than divine."
Alexandrians say, "Now, just wait!"

And for those of Coptic leanings...
The blind mystic's monistic Synoptic,
A panoptic synoptic in Coptic,
Would thrill the eristic,
Theistic, ill mystic,
Were Copt cystic optics orthoptic.

I haven't read Barth, but here goes...
A difficult thinker is Barth.
His logic will tear you apart.
With his dialectic,
Life gets so hectic,
You hasten for refuge to Sartre.

And finally, one that is more general in nature.
There was a professor called Dodd,
Whose name was exceedingly odd;
He spelled, if you please,
His name with three “D’s,”
When one was sufficient for God.


 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Book review: Green Eggs and Ham (Dr. Seuss)

Green eggs and ham, as a recolorized staple breakfast food, captures the reader's attention by turning this diurnal sustenance into an unexpected and apparently unappetizing foodstuff. It thus symbolizes the existential angst of modern life, wherein we are unfulfilled by modern life, and are repelled by something that might impart nourishment. The "protagonist" to be convinced of its desirability remains anonymous, while the other actor refers to himself with an emphatic identifier "Sam I am", formed with a pronominal subject and copular verb of existence. This character thus seeks to emphasize his existence and existential wholeness, and even establish a sense of self-existence, with an apparent Old Testament allusion to Elohim speaking to Moses as the "I Am". This emphatic personal identifier thus introduces a prominent theme of religious existentialism to the narrative, probably more in line with original Kierkegaardian religious existentialism, ra…

Gossip, accusation and spiritual warfare

Paul once wrote to the Corinthians, “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder” [1 Cor. 12:20]. Gossip is diagnosed as a serious spiritual problem, not a harmless form of conversation and social entertainment, as many in the secular world would view it.God views it differently. Gossip is the opposite of the love and grace that God wants to display in our lives.
Gossip is often exaggerated (and thus, untrue), or outright fabricated. Even church people engage in gossip in a seemingly sanctimonious guise (“We really ought to pray for X – you wouldn’t believe what he told me yesterday!...”). Whether secular or “christianized,” gossip betrays trust. “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” [Prov. 11:13]; “A perverse person stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates clo…

IBM Lotus Symphony - Hardy installer for Ubuntu / Debian / Mint Linux

I recently upgraded my Linux to Ubuntu 12, and I had major difficulties installing the IBM Lotus Symphony. It would not install, complaining about dependencies involving some libnotify program. I found and installed libnotify, but then Lotus would not start up. I found that there's a problem with the currently available Debian installer / program for Lotus, and following some advice I found from my Google search, I tried a previous version of the Lotus installer, and everything seems to work fine. I'm making the installer available here for people who need it, since I can't seem to find it on the IBM website.

 Details: The current installer is designated for the Lucid version of Ubuntu - symphony_3.0.1-1lucid1_i386.deb - for Ubuntu / Debian versions since March 2010. Installing this in the most recent versions of Ubuntu / Mint Linux (versions 12-14) doesn't work for some people, leading to the following error message - or the program simply won't start up.

 ..... …