kent lee's blog & ramble

People in relationships often ask themselves, at some level of consciousness or another, how they feel the relationship is going. Particularly they ask themselves, “how am I benefiting from the relationship” or “what am I getting out of the relationship?” And in a healthy romantic relationship, a person would ask him/herself, “I wonder if s/he is benefiting from or enjoying the relationship, and me?” These are the kinds of questions that healthy people would ask themselves in healthy relationships, as long as their expectations aren’t unreasonable or overly selfish. We also have to evaluate our relationship with God, but we can’t evaluate this relationship in quite the same way. To simply ask, “how am I benefiting from this relationship with God” in the same way would be egocentric. A better way to approach this question would be to ask yourself, “for what specific things am I thankful to God?” and to reflect on all his mercies, grace, and blessings to you – ma...

Here's the transcript of my talk at the 세바시 on Freedom from English. This is an approximate transcript that I prepared for my talk, so that they could provide Korean subtitles for listeners. My delivery was kind of unnatural and sometimes not so fluid, because I had to give my speech from a memorized script. Freedom from English I remember several years ago, I was at a bus stop near 왕십리 [Wangshimni], when some high school boys came up to me, wanting to practice English. But as they opened their mouths, all they could say was, “Hi... I like kimchi... I love you” - and then walked away quickly, giggling, and embarrassed. Sadly, they studied English in school for many years, yet they could not say anything meaningful – just a few simple, awkward phrases, not knowing that it is not appropriate to say “I love you” to stranger. I often hear of how Koreans spend so much time, so much effort and so much money on studying English, but with such poor results. In fact, English has beco...

Chuseok is a harvest festival, similar to Thanksgiving, which involves family reunions, eating, and in some households, ancestor worship rites. Ancient Koreans did not know the one true God who was to be thanked, and as in many other cultures, they turned to developing other spiritual identities (see Rom. 1, Acts 17), and instead gave thanks to the spirits of their ancestors. Nowadays, Korean Christians use this opportunity to thank God for family and divine blessings. Christian families hold memorials instead of ancestor rites, to express thanks to God and to remember the deceased.     But some Christians find themselves caught up in family conflict, when their non-believing families insist on their participation in ancestor worship. How believers in non-believing families are to respond is difficult, and sometimes controversial. For Asians, familial piety and relationships are especially important, and a Christian does not want to be a poor witness by violating thi...

Paul once wrote to the Corinthians, “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder” [1 Cor. 12:20]. Gossip is diagnosed as a serious spiritual problem, not a harmless form of conversation and social entertainment, as many in the secular world would view it.   God views it differently. Gossip is the opposite of the love and grace that God wants to display in our lives. Gossip is often exaggerated (and thus, untrue), or outright fabricated. Even church people engage in gossip in a seemingly sanctimonious guise (“We really ought to pray for X – you wouldn’t believe what he told me yesterday!...”). Whether secular or “christianized,” gossip betrays trust.          “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” [Prov. 11:13]; “A per...

Faith is not like the simplistic illustrations we sometimes hear in sermons. It is not like sitting in a chair ("it's like sitting in a chair" some say, "you can believe it will hold you, but nothing happens till you sit down in it"). It is not like getting on an airplane ("faith is like flying - you may believe the jet can safely transport you, but nothing happens till you board the plane"). Those are cheesy illustrations that I used to hear a lot. Give me a break. Since when does sitting in a chair transform your life? Parking your rear in a chair is not a life-changing experience! Such illustrations cheapen faith. Thank God my church doesn't use such cheap illustrations. In an apologetics discussion in a Bible study at an evangelical church years ago, I even heard faith being equated to intellectual belief, to mere acceptance of propositional claims of a religious nature, no different than accepting other intellectual facts. Such claims cheapen ...

As a person with charismatic leanings, I have come to prefer Catholic / Anglican / Episcopal forms of charismatic Christianity. As mentioned in my last post, charismatic Catholicism goes way back to the early church, under the rubric of Christian mysticism. The reason I prefer these forms is because they are more balanced. Protestant charismatics and Pentecostals greatly overemphasize things like speaking in tongues, which are really a minor gift. Tongues have been practiced throughout church history, and there is no historical or scriptural basis for the claim that tongues and other charismatic gifts ever ceased*. But they have never been considered "a big deal" or in any way a sign that a person is more spiritual than another who doesn't do tongues or such gifts. Only with the advent of modern charismatic movements did such an extreme emphasis get put on tongues and charismatic gifts. St. Paul commanded us to desire the better gifts - in that context, he was referring t...

As I've read about church history in the past year, I've come to learn about mystical traditions that have been an essential part of the history of Christian practice. What we call mysticism refers first of all to proper, biblical forms of mysticism, which generally correspond to charismatic Catholicism (and related movements in other churches) in more modern terminology. It may also refer to some types of theology and practice that can be aberrant, speculative, and heterodox, which tends to give mysticism a bad name. But 'mysticism' should be understood primarily according to "mainstream mysticism". Mysticism is essentially a lifestyle and theology of direct, personal experience with God, and thus, is emotional, passionate, and engages the person intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. It is grounded on a biblical understanding of the fear of God and the love of God, and thus, mystics approach God as a Being to be held in great awe and respect, yet one ...

An ancient writer once wrote that if horses had gods, they would look like horses. Likewise, in the various religions of the world, when people create their own gods or idols, they look very human like. The ancient Greek gods were scoundrels and perverts. So were the gods of the ancient Near Eastern religions - Molech, the various regional forms of Baal, Ashtoreth / Astarte, and such. When people invent their own religions, they can only create gods in their own image - or in the image of animals and people, with human (a)moral characteristics. No man-made religion was created in which its god or gods were not created in man's image, in the likeness of humans, with human limitations or human-like nature. However, the God of the Bible is completely different. He is always shown to be a loving, holy, just, and even wrathful God, equally in both Old and New Testaments (those who claim otherwise either don't know the Bible well enough, or are reading it thru their own cultural filt...

'Fearing God', in the biblical sense, is not human, natural, psychological fear in the normal sense, but an attempt to capture in words the kind of attitude of profound awe and respect we are to have toward God. It is a deep, serious, arresting sense of wonder and amazement of who God is and what he is like, realizing how totally mind-blowingly awesome and totally different he is from us or anything we know, how he is beyond human comprehension.. Who is the man that fears the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way He chooses. (Psalm 25:12) The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant. (Psalm 25:12-14) Do not let your heart envy sinners, but be zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day. (Prov. 23.7) The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; he will not be visited with evil. (Prov. 19:23) Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. For God will bring every work...

First, therefore, I invite the reader to the groans of prayer through Christ crucified, through whose blood we are cleansed from the filth of vice -- so that he not believe that reading is sufficient without unction, speculation without devotion, investigation without wonder, observation without joy, work without piety, knowledge without love, understanding without humility, endeavor without divine grace, reflection without divinely inspired wisdom. To those, therefore, predisposed by divine grace, the humble and the pious, the contrite and the devout, those anointed with the oil of gladness, the lovers of divine wisdom, and those inflamed with a desire for it, to those wishing to give themselves to glorifying, wondering at and even savoring God, I propose the following considerations, suggesting that the mirror presented by the external world is of little or no value unless the mirror of our soul has been cleaned and polished. Therefore, man of God, first exercise yourself in remorse ...

I find myself in the odd position of being quite fond of two very different styles of worship, and being in need of both for a balanced spiritual life - and I gladly defend both from their detractors. For years I have been fond of contemporary worship, and find it very conducive for spiritual growth and real worship. Some criticize it for its subjective and emotional nature, but in fact that is its advantage, and why I defend it, as it offers something lacking in many forms of worship in traditional churches. Traditional church worship can be lifeless, and most of all, a hollow ritual, an expression of mere religious rationalism or ritualistic religion (but not necessarily; see below). It is objective to an unhealthy degree. You see, Christianity is about a personal, daily-life relationship with God that we are to experience in a real way. It's about a personal relationship with God, not just an intellectual relationship or intellectual religious experience. Modern worship brings t...

Forgiveness is hard. I guess that's why the teachings of Jesus on forgiving others seemed so revolutionary, so unnatural, so counter-intuitive. It's particularly hard when the other party doesn't seem interested in conflict resolution or setting things right. Maybe they are insensitive and don't care; maybe they didn't realize what they did; maybe they moved on and there's no chance of addressing it with them; or who knows, maybe they sent an email to explain and make up, but it got lost and you never got it and never knew they sent it. Whatever the reason, sometimes we have to forgive when the other party hasn't responded. Yet we are commanded to do so. It's partly an act of the will to invoke the spiritual, Christian agape love, and to remember how much Christ did so we could be forgiven. But so often those seem like religious rationalizations in the face of pain and humiliation from others. Forgiveness can be really hard to do. I find there are no eas...

Some might ask what the point of theology is, as often it has been misused in various ways - for selfish intellectual thrill and indulgence, cultivating the ego, showing off, for controlling others, for reasons other than what it is intended. Theology literally means 'knowledge of / knowing God' - and that's the point. Real theology, pursued properly, should bring you closer to God, in a real, meaningful way. Otherwise it's just religious intellectualism or religious rationalism, or maybe some sort of religious sensationalism (e.g., the way prophecy is often taught) or a way to rationalize a sanctified emotionalism (as in some abuses of charismatic theology). Real theology, at the simple or very profound level, should somehow lead you closer to God. Either it provides you practical means of connecting directly to God, overcoming barriers to intimacy with God, or at least leads you to a fear and wonder of God, or a deeper love of God, that translates to a closer relation...

Good advice on how to pray, specifically, what to pray for, and how to direct one's spiritual life, from St. Bonaventure (San Bonaventura, 1221-1274), a 13th century Italian saint: ...ask [for] grace not teaching, desire not understanding, the groan of prayer not the effort of reading, the Bridegroom not the teacher, God not man, darkness not brightness, not light bur rather the fire that wholly enflames and transforms into God by its extreme anointments and most ardent affections. This fire is God and "its furnace is in Jerusalem". St. Bonaventure, The Mind's Journey into God , chapter 2

Fear of God in the biblical sense is not fear in the average psychological sense; but there is no adequate word in English that is strong enough to describe it. Fear of God means a profound awe, respect, and reverence of God. It's profound, heavy awe in light of who he is, his holiness, and how infinite, magnificent, omnipotent, loving, incomprehensible, and totally different he his, that he is beyond our understanding. Fearing God is the ultimate realization of worship and loving God with all our hearts, soul, and strength, and leads us to love God in such a way, more than ever before. Fearing God is the beginning of wisdom, for only then do we begin to realize who we are and what God is like, and what that means for us. Fearing God means approaching him with deep reverence, focusing on him rather than ourselves. It means our minds cannot handle how infinite, other-worldly, different, holy, and transcendent he is - our minds are boggled when we contemplate who he is. We can only ...

God is God. There are no words to describe or define him adequately. There is no way our minds can comprehend him, no way our natural minds can grasp him. His ways are not our ways. He exists outside the cosmos, i.e., he is transcendent, as the cosmos is merely his creation. He exists in a sense that we cannot understand; it is not any sort of existence that we can understand. For instance, his existence and essence are infinite, and he is self-existent. We can only grasp whatever exists in a temporal sense - that which begins at some point, is created, and ceases to exist (only the human soul does not cease). But God justs exists. Infinitely. We cannot wrap our minds around that. We can sort of imagine our souls not ceasing to exist, living forever into the future, because we haven't died yet. But can you imagine existing without having ever been born, without ever having a beginning? Of course not; it blows your mind. But that's how God is. We cannot grasp his existence or es...

God is God. There are no words to describe or define him adequately. There is no way our minds can comprehend him, no way our natural minds can grasp him. His ways are not our ways. He exists outside the cosmos, i.e., he is transcendent, as the cosmos is merely his creation. He exists in a sense that we cannot understand; it is not any sort of existence that we can understand. For instance, his existence and essence are infinite, and he is self-existent. We can only grasp whatever exists in a temporal sense - that which begins at some point, is created, and ceases to exist (only the human soul does not cease). But God justs exists. Infinitely. We cannot wrap our minds around that. We can sort of imagine our souls not ceasing to exist, living forever into the future, because we haven't died yet. But can you imagine existing without having ever been born, without ever having a beginning? Of course not; it blows your mind. But that's how God is. We cannot grasp his existence or es...

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. [Psalm 5:3] What does he wait in expectation of? On a superficial level, one might think that he waits for God to answer his prayer, in the sense of specific prayer requests as we think of prayer requests today - "God, do X for me". To some degree that may be true, but I think that is hardly the main point. When you pray for God to do something, you don't just stop and wait there in your prayer place for it - not, "God, please do X for me" and wait there for a response. Rather, it concerns something deeper, something not related to the kind of self-focused prayers that we modern Christians think of. What does a really spiritual person as for, as his/her primary prayer? Not specific supplications for help as we often think of it. The main thing that prayer is about is seeking God. That's the main point of prayer. Like Paul said, "I want to know...

Another example of pop psychology is in the area of self-esteem, and equally disheartening, religious over-reaction against the concept of self-esteem among fundamentalists. Many self-help books and pop psychology pundits talk about self-esteem without a proper understanding of it, and thus oversimplify and misapply it. First, self-esteem is a legitimate concept, and an important domain in social psychology research. There's been a good deal of interesting research in psychology over the years. However, self-esteem is not just one simple thing, that people need more of. There are different types of self-esteem, or different dimensions to self-esteeem. These dimensions can include one's self-knowledge and self-understanding, one's appraisal of one's abilities and general self-evaluation, one's feeling of control, in addition to evaluation of self, others, and social relationships. Often these things are fluid, and can actually vary depending on the context - specific...